Note: This article, Time to Man Up, appeared years ago. I don't remember the exact scenario but this was originally written in response to a question on the JimWendler Forum; I believe the original question had something to do with struggling with a lack of confidence in life / in relationships.
I’m going to have to give you some Tough Love here. First, I need for you to re-read this:
“Where performance and kicking ass are more important than how you look. Where people eat to live, not live to eat. Where trucks are pushed and sleds are pulled. Where reps and weight are counted, calories are not. Where running isn’t “cardio" , it’s part of training and if you’re going to walk for your conditioning you best have something on your back or in your hands”
You admit that you are not strong enough (many of us feel this way but understand that it is an ongoing process and that THIS process is important). But please DO NOT be that guy who talks about where he holds his fat or how his legs or “obliques” are fattier than they should be.
What I would prescribe for you is to get rid of all these silly, pathetic and disgusting notions of what you think a man should look like and start over. I’m going to give everyone a huge hint here: no one gives a shit what you look like. Now I’m not saying being a fat slob doesn’t raise some eyebrows in disgust, but if you kick as much ass as possible in the weight room and conditioning field AND start OWNING your training, you'll be farther along than most. Give yourself a full year of total commitment; don't get overwhelmed by fads. Choose a path, a balanced path, and start moving forward. One day at a time, one set at a time, one rep at a time. I don't care so much about WHAT you do, more than you are doing something consistently and something you believe in.
People are not attracted to vanity – they are attracted to confidence, passion and life movement. No one owns a room by the way they look; it’s how they carry themselves. There is so much more to this, but PLEASE don’t talk about your love handles. Act on your passions in life, move boulders, read, be polite, further your education, minimize personal and financial debt and take ownership of every part of your life. You have the passion for training, start making this shit count. I know this is probably way off topic then what you wanted but I’m trying hard to get rid of all this bullshit that is plaguing SO MANY men, young men and boys. It comes down to this: ACT don't tell. Think about it like this: training and life is something to be experienced by you. You don't have to broadcast it to the world.
Training wise, I recommend this:
- Stretch (mobility/flexibility/movement)
- Lift
- Sprint (aka condition)
Do the above all the time – no bulking, no cutting, no bullshit. Just train to be physically better. Don’t be that guy that takes shirtless photos of himself so other men can drool on them. That shit is a disgrace to every man that has done anything awesome in his life – while they were busy “doing” these shirtless ‘tards were busy trying to look the part. Get off the bench and get on the field.
